I was perusing Ted.com (I do that a lot) and I found a really great talk I thought I’d share.
Meg Jay counsels twenty-somethings and helps them sort through life, so she spoke from the challenges and questions she was often asked to solve. Her tips to setting up a successful life in your twenties are as follows:
forget your identity crisis, build identity capital
It’s ok if we don’t know our life’s calling, how we’ll make our mark on the world or what we’re doing yet. We’re still young. But the cachet is not to sit in the sidelines just waiting to figure it out. Instead, if we focus on what builds us up – activities that make us better, more valuable people, we’ll eventually stumble on the answer. And that can mean anything for anyone; taking dance or language lessons, traveling, helping people in the little ways we know how. Jay said that this “identity capital” draws in more capital and compounds into the personalities we’ll be ten years from now. Basically, we don’t need to worry about the big picture as long as we’re slowly painting its components.
go beyond your usual group
Spending time with a set group of people (think: Friends) doesn’t grow us too much. Opening ourselves up to meeting a friend-of-a-friend for coffee who does interesting things, though, or using our connections to help find jobs does help us develop. They’re things we should be excited about instead of feeling anxious about. Case in point: some of the coolest, most interesting connections I have are with people I asked out for TXC’s 100 Cups of Coffee segment [in case you’re new: it’s the interview part of TXC where I shut up and listen to people smarter than me]. I challenge you to ask someone you don’t yet know out for a chat!
pick your family; do it now.
Who you surround yourself with matters, whether it’s who you date or who you befriend. If you start building healthy relationships early on, you’ll hopefully find yourself happy with the circle you’re in later on. Mindfully choose people who are good for you, not just those who happen to choose you. They have an insane effect on who we are. So much so that we apparently become the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Do with that what you will, I know I’ll be spending time with awesome people more often.
What’s something you’re doing now for Future-You? Let me know in the comments 🙂
All the best,